I THINK I'M NOT ENOUGH, DOES IT HAPPEN TO YOU?

​Yesterday an overwhelming thought came to me saying “you are not enough! Look at them! They fill a kirtan and a retreat in a minute, effortlessly! And you are here convincing people to have a few on a retreat and kirtans”

I asked the question in the Sadhana Now WhatsApp group and the result was that 98% answered that, like me, they sometimes feel insufficient. Huh! How can I dedicate my life almost entirely to my spiritual path and still feel insufficient? There are few things in life that shake me as much as feeling like a “fraud.” Could it be that impostor syndrome wants to tell us something that we are not hearing?

I woke up today with a certainty: No! I am not enough! Because I am not that! If I continue to believe that I will have, that I will be, that they will recognize me, that my songs will be heard all over the world, that this text will be read by someone and write to me: Thank you Narayana! If I continue to believe that I am that Pablo Narayana, I am screwed

Today Eduar, a friend that Maharaji brought into my life and who is a wonderful writer, told me: “I am Maharaji writing to Maharaji” which I interpret as: we are God playing the role of God. And as far as I have been able to check, God is not wrong.

Shake off the idea you have of perfection, which is nothing more than your ego wanting to exist. You are not enough and that is enough.

I've been meaning to write for years but my mind tells me that I don't do it well, so today I answer it by writing.

ESPAÑOL:
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Ayer me vino un pensamiento arrollador que decía “no eres suficiente! Miralos! Ellos llenan un kirtan y un retiro en un minuto, sin esfuerzo! Y tú aquí convenciendo gente para tener unos cuantos en un retiro”

Hice la pregunta en el grupo de WhatsApp de Sadhana Now y el resultado fue que 98% contestaron que igual que yo a veces se sienten insuficientes. Huh! ¿Cómo puedo dedicar mi vida casi por completo a mi camino espiritual y aún sentirme insuficiente? Hay pocas cosas en la vida que me mueven tanto como sentirme un “fraude”. Será que el síndrome del impostor nos quiere decir algo que no estamos escuchando?

Me desperté hoy con una certeza: No! No Soy suficiente! Por qué no soy eso! Si sigo creyendo que tendré, que seré, que me lo reconocerán, que mis canciones las escucharan en todo el mundo, que este texto lo leerá alguien y me escribirá: Gracias Narayana! Si sigo creyendo que soy ese Pablo Narayana estoy frito.

Hoy Eduar, un amigo que Maharaji trajo a mi vida y que es un escritor maravilloso me dijo: “Soy Maharaji escribiéndole a Maharaji” lo cual yo interpreto como: somos Dios jugando a ser Dios. Y hasta donde he podido revisar Dios no se equivoca.

Sacúdete la idea que tienes de perfección que no es más que tu ego queriendo existir. No eres suficiente y eso es suficiente.

Llevo años queriendo escribir pero mi mente me dice que no lo hago bien, así que hoy le contesto escribiendo.